A Bachelor's Struggles in The Sacred Search

I haven't read the book, The Sacred Search, but as I watched the video below, I agreed with the author's views. I prayed and wrestled for years about making sure I chose the right girl for marriage. As a top priority, I wanted to make sure my lifelong commitment was a commitment that would take me into God's purpose for my life. I had dedicated my life to following God, so my first concern was whether marrying a particular girl was God's will.

Actually, my first decision was whether God would want me to get married at all, regardless of to whom. A friend gave me crucial information to help with this question. He gave me a quote that said I should not commit to serving and depending upon another person until I am completely content with God alone. We have needs that only God can fulfill, and to rush into a marriage before those are met, will create hardship and possibly failure. I would likely place unreasonable demands upon my partner to meet needs that no human can meet. I would not have a clear understanding of how marriage is a ministry to my partner that stems from my personal devotion to God.

In later years, I came across that same advice in other forms, such as "You can't expect your marriage to have its act together until you get your own act together first."  "The most important factor in finding the right mate is becoming the person God wants you to be." (These are paraphrases.)

I spent a year or two trying to make sure I was on track with placing God first in my life and letting Him change me. It's a lifelong process, but I hoped and prayed He would help prevent me from making a bad mistake if my own reasoning was faulty. During this time I was dating a girl, and it reached a point where she needed a firm direction. She needed to know whether I thought she was the one, or whether we should should move on with our lives. It was a fair question - we'd been exclusive for three years, maybe more.

Decision time had come, but it still difficult. Some criteria were fairly easy - Would she lead me in a lifestyle consistent with following God? Yes, I could devote myself to giving my life to her, loving her as Christ gave Himself for the church. Was she also committed to following God, so we would grow closer together rather than farther apart over time? As far as I could tell, she was serious about putting God first in her life and was actively seeking His direction and growing. You never know what's in the deepest part of a person's heart, or how someone will change over time, but I saw a lot of evidence that her heart was true and there no red flags.

A question that bothered me, though, was, "Was she THE one?" What if I was just a year away from meeting the one that God had planned for me from birth? In the end, I concluded that there was no way to know. I'm not omniscient. If there is just one person for me, I would have to trust God to lead me to that person. I would have to make my decision based on whether I had the opportunity to marry a good person. A great person. I realized that I did. She had been patiently walking with me as I struggled with finding God's will in my life.

I prayed that God would stop me if I was way off track - I worried that I had fooled myself into thinking I had the right motives, when in reality I was just under the spell of her beautiful physical appearance -  and then I decided that she would fit well within God's will for my life. She would be right at the center - God, her, and me. As I seek to love God and others, she is first in line as a recipient. As God shapes me, she has been the main instrument He uses. God answered my prayers, and my decision was a good one.

That doesn't mean we always fit perfectly together, though. Our interests and goals often conflict. We inadvertently, and sometimes intentionally, hurt or disappoint each other. If times are really tough, the question occasionally pops into my mind again, "Am I sure we're supposed to be together? What if there's someone else who was THE one?" The answer to that question came from that same friend who gave me the advice about being content.

We were debating whether there was just one person who was made to be someone's spouse. We decided that only God knows, and that we'd have to trust Him. Then, my friend said, "Maybe there isn't a right 'one' until you take your vows. At that point, the person you marry becomes the 'one.'" Who knows, maybe there's even a supernatural transformation in which God actually makes your partner 'the one,' kind of like the way people try to connect predestination with free will. People choose to get saved and go to heaven, and then once they arrive, they see that they were also predestined, perhaps because God foresaw that they would choose.

It's just a fun thought; I don't have any real evidence of the predestination vs. free will in supernatural marriage transformations. I do often remember my friend's observation, though, when I look at my wife and can't imagine being with anyone other than her. Through God's grace and a fair amount of work on our parts, she has become the "one" for me.

Oh yeah, here's the video...

http://www.crosswalk.com/video/theres-no-such-thing-as-a-soulmate.html







also asked, "Is she THE one?" Did God have one person that He had made just for me, and

Aberdeen

This video is a good reminder not to come down too hard on the kids when you think they've been trying to purposely annoy you.

Nevermind - the video's been removed.

Mt. Rainier 1: Deer

Mt. Rainier 2: Further Along the Trail

Mt. Rainier 3:

Mt. Rainier 4: Hairy Flowers

Mt. Rainier 5: Altitude

Mt. Rainier 6: Edith Creek

Mt Rainier 7: Culvert

Mt. Rainier 8: Beautiful Flower

Mt Rainier 9: Man on the Mountain

Mt Rainier 10: The Ascension

Mt. Rainier 11: A lesson learned?

Lake Superior Penguins

These are the penguins and boys recently seen on the southern shore of Lake Superior near our house. Yep, we live in an exotic place! (You can click on the images to get a bigger version.)

Slide, Swerve, Sled!

I took our mini van for a little flight this morning, which ended up shutting down a few lanes of US 41 for awhile. Thankfully there were no injuries or damage. The boys and I were cruising past the rock cut when the car in front of me hit part of a snow bank that covered about half of the right lane. The car spinned completely around and ended up broadside across the lane in front of me. I hit my brakes, but they had no response; we were sliding at full speed right at the car's driver door.

Rather than hitting the car, I quickly swerved into the snow bank on the shoulder of the road. It didn't slow us down much, so I turned into it harder. A plume of snow blocked the view from every window, but I could feel the van slowing down, so I turned back toward the road. Then all became quiet.

Once I could see out the windows again, I watched the car in front of us pull out of the lane and drive back to us. A man jumped out, ran to our van, and asked whether we were okay. I said we were, and that I was going to try pulling back out into the road. The man said we probably wouldn't be going anywhere. I tried to open my door so I could take a look, but the door wouldn't open.

The man went back to his car and returned with a friend and a couple of shovels. They shoveled out the door so I could hop out and get a look at the van. We were several feet off the ground and tilting at a sharp angle. It's a wonder that the van didn't roll. The man and his friend started to shovel around the side of the van, but I asked them to stop in case the snow was the only thing keeping the van upright. The man, still looking like he'd just stared death in the face, asked me several more times whether we were okay, and he thanked me for not hitting him.

Within minutes a man in a pickup truck stopped to make sure we were alright. He was a member of a first response team and offered to stop at the Chocolay police station to let them know we needed help. Next, a man in a pickup truck with a snow plow came from the other direction. He asked me to stop traffic a moment, and when I did, he cleared away some of the snow from the front of the van. He continued on his way without pausing for a thank you.

A few minutes later, a state trooper arrived and questioned the man from the car that spun out and me about what happened. The man from the car in front of me said the car in front of him started to fishtail. He tapped his brakes, which sent him spinning in circles. I said I went into the snow bank to prevent us from hitting him. He again thanked me for not hitting him. The officer grilled the man a little more about what caused him to spin out, then realized that half the right lane was blocked by the snow bank. The road hadn't been properly plowed. He said he was surprised nobody had called him about it that morning and wondered why they had left it that way. The other man pointed out that a road sanding truck had been in an accident in that same spot earlier - it was still sitting in the Michigan Welcome center parking lot next to us.

The trooper called a tow truck for me and we waited. While we were waiting, a woman pulled up and told the trooper that there were three boys walking out on the ice on Lake Superior to look at the penguins. The trooper later said he thought she was looney - who ever heard of penguins in Lake Superior? She was right, though. Someone had planted large wooden penguins on the ice, and they looked real from a distance. An officer who showed up later said those penguins were causing worse driving problems than the snow because of all the distracted drivers. I said the boys were mine, and went to get them. They had crawled out the van window after the accident, and were safe on an ice pile. Still, I rounded them up and had them wait in the welcome center. Later, they told me the lady in the center was very nice; she made hot chocolate for them, talked with them, and gave them bags for all the brochures they collected. They said they were very polite to her and asked whether I could go in and give her a tip because she was so nice.

The officer lit flares and directed traffic while the wrecker operator assessed the situation. He started with one plan, but was afraid the van would roll. He had a county snow plow, which had arrived right after the officer confirmed the snow bank was blocking the road, remove more snow from in front of the van. He backed his truck to the front of the van and lowered the truck's bed sled to the front wheels. He asked the two officers to sit in the passenger side of the van to help keep it from rolling. I added my weight, too, by hanging on the outside. The wrecker did a great job easing us onto his truck. The officer told me he was good at being careful; sometimes when other wreckers came the officer said he was just glad they weren't working on his car.

The wrecker slowly eased the van out with no problems, and I thanked him much - He rounded the price down to an even $100, but said that it was the hardest tow he'd done in five years. The boys thought the whole event was great - much more exciting than the winter games.

When we arrived at the winter games, our den was surprised to see us. A number of them passed us on their way to the games, so they all knew that we'd run into trouble. Even the pack leader said, "I thought you looked familiar!" I said, "Yes -- the sled dog races last week." He said, "No. This morning. Standing on top of a snow bank by the Welcome Center!"

We thank God for keeping us safe, for keeping the man in front of us safe, and ask that He continue to protect the troopers and wrecker crews who have to stand out in highway traffic on a regular basis, so we don't have to.

Fiery Sky

There are some sights up here in the north that words just can't describe. So, I'll just say, "You can't get that color out of a bottle!"

The Northern Shore

On a recent trip back from Wisconsin, I stopped at a small park on the northern shore of Green Bay (the body of water, not the city). The green grass and marsh growth went right to the water's edge. Large orange butterflies decorated the air over land, while a seagull performing aerial dives into the water provided excitement off shore. Each of my steps sent tiny toads scattering; there were hundreds of them. Larger green frogs were bountiful at the marsh edges but were more elusive. The early evening sun cast golden light at an angle that richened green and blue hues to a point where I don't know whether the colors could have become any more saturated.

Yep, late summer on the northern shore - where the message in nature tells you to take a break and know that life is good.

Harbor Sunrise

 

This is a view I regularly see on my way around town. Sometimes I have to park and take it in for awhile longer when a quick drive by won't do it justice. The variety of colors and textures in the sky and ice yesterday morning prompted me to snap this shot of the lower harbor. Beauty, eh?

February Dog Fire

 

About 10 miles from the sled-dog starting gate, a blazing fire at a sled drop point provided warm comfort in the otherwise frigid darkness. The stars and moon were as intense as they can be, but they were still as cold as diamonds in the outer space deep freeze. I learned that teen-age boys are good people to hire as bon-fire tenders. They guarantee that the flames stay high and the heat radiates intensely. We had steam coming out of our gloves and coats.

Sled Dogs

 

The mushers had headlamps, which makes sense because the UP 200 starts after dark. The interesting thing to me, though, was that the lead dogs also had head lamps (in many of the teams). This makes sense, too, of course, but I wondered whether the dogs suddenly felt like they had a new supernatural ability to see better in the dark. What goes on in a dog's mind at times like that? What goes on in a dog's mind at any time?